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Sunday, January 18, 2009

Picking myself back up!

I've been feeling really down on myself for giving up my good habits that I had. It seems like 2-3 months is the longest I can stick with eating mostly raw foods, and exercising. It didn't used to be like this! When I was 22, I worked out all the time and I LOVED it. It wasn't an obsession, it was just something I enjoyed doing. I LIKED feeling good about myself. I was so ambitious, and so motivated. But over the years, with dreams that didn't come true despite a 4.0, what I THOUGHT was a good work ethic, awards, traveling for work, interviewing celebrities...I have become somewhat disillusioned. It just seems like WHY BOTHER? It all seems so...pointless. I know I have blogged about this before, and I hate to sound pessimistic because I'm really not. I'm just a very logical person by nature. I know this confuses a lot of people because well, I'm a woman and very much so ;) I can be very emotional too! (one of the benefits of raw foods is it helps stabilize this tendency a bit!) I'm not saying all women are emotional, but we do have a few more natural hormones usually that make them harder to contain :) Ok, if I haven't annoyed anyone yet (and I really don't care) my point is, I have decided to stop feeling bad about my giving up recently and once again start over! I got a surprise check in the mail, and while I should use it for something practical like paying off bills, all of the money is going towards eating raw food for the next 15 days. I am also going to stop sleeping in, and get up early. Even though I still get a lot done sleeping in (I just stay up later) I feel like I need to get LESS sleep because there is so much I want to do! I have managed to write my very first stand-up act! :) I just need to practice. I have also attempted MANY times to write a book, but always end up getting distracted and abandon it. My whole life, teachers have been telling me that I should write. Yet, I never thought I could make a career out it. I guess I won't know until I try, right? Because getting the respectable degree and working the 9-5 thing didn't exactly work out either. What do I have to lose?! So, starting tomorrow I'm going back to eating raw food. I don't know about the waking up early thing as it's already 3am (whoops) but I will start with one hour earlier than I normally wake up, and go from there!I am also going to make a list of comfort foods, and their raw counterparts so I won't backslide. I am also going to do a LOT of emotional freedom technique ( and also some techniques to deal with bad emotions. I need to find a way to deal with bad things that does NOT include food! I wasn't going to post about this until tomorrow, but I came across this video tonight on someone else's blog and it just seemed like a sign I'm in the right direction. I hope it inspires you as much as it does me!

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